


Oh Death

by PLISA



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Bellarke meant to be? Yes, But I hope you appreciate it, But mentions of Bellamy’s death in season 7, F/M, Set during Day Trip, also mentions of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 19:14:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30144285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PLISA/pseuds/PLISA
Summary: As Bellamy and Clarke walk back to camp after Dax’s death, Bellamy sees his own death.And he couldn’t feel more at peace with it.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34





	Oh Death

**Author's Note:**

> Allo, allo!
> 
> I’m back (kinda?). After more than a month of not reading/writing Bellarke fics, I’ve decided that I miss it a lot. I’m super busy right now (life 😔), but I will update whenever I have some free time to write. I won’t post as regularly as I did before, but it’s great to be back on AO3!
> 
> About the story: this is very different to everything I’ve written before. It’s not really explicitly romantic, and it touches on Bellamy’s death. I’m just experimenting with new tropes/genres. Feel free to leave a comment below!
> 
> Happy (?) reading!

Perhaps he should’ve walked away that night, without her. 

The words almost left his mouth, but how the hell was he going to let them out? How was he supposed to show the slightest ounce of vulnerability? Not in front of her. 

Then, she told him he was forgiven. Nobody had ever forgiven him before, and he wasn’t sure if the tingly feeling inside his stomach meant good or bad. Surely it had to mean _something_ , because he stayed, even if the only thing in his mind was an escape plan. 

Following her back to camp was probably one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Trailing behind her with alert eyes, his usual overprotective instinct kicked in when he finally woke up from his daydreaming and realised it was dark outside, and they were in the middle of the dangerous woods. After having killed a man, no less. 

How the hell were they going to explain to the other delinquents why Dax wasn’t with them? He sighed deeply. 

_ Come with me. Screw everybody else. Let’s just...go.  _

The words kept replaying inside his head until they were all he could think about. She would never say yes, and he was fucking delusional for even  _ considering _ that possibility. He didn’t want to think too much about why he would run away with her, of all people.

He was a coward. He was going to leave, abandon Octavia, and what for? The Ark wasn’t going to come down — it was unlikely, even if Clarke didn’t want to see it. She was never going to see her mom again. Not in this world, anyway, but maybe in her dreams. Just like he did with Aurora. 

He knew there were no real dangers threatening him. They wouldn’t even  _ dare  _ to come close. So why did he feel the urge to get as far away as he could from camp? He felt his heart being pulled by an invisible string, in the opposite direction, and he wanted to let go so badly. 

Perhaps the only option was to just… disappear. Not running away, not hiding anymore. Just… leave. 

Bellamy couldn’t help but ask himself if he should even be alive right now, if he deserves it. Probably not, if he’s being honest. And yet Earth, this ridiculous life he’s trapped in, seems to be giving him a chance. To do what, exactly? He doesn’t know.

He remembered Charlotte. He remembered the way she left this world, wondering if she felt anything at all. He wondered if his mother felt anything as the emptiness of space swallowed her in forever, lost with the stars. 

“You’re awfully quiet back there.”

It’s her voice that pulls him back into reality. 

He swallows, “Why?”, he coughs. It relieves tension off of his shoulders, but his heart stays heavy. “Do you want to talk about anything?” 

He knows his words came out weak, and he wants to punch himself for it. This is definitely not his best day. He’s shown too much of his real him to Clarke already. 

“Are you okay?”

Her question surprises him. Suddenly, he can’t remember the last time someone asked him if he was okay, and now he can’t seem to find an honest answer. 

Let’s see. They’ve just taken somebody’s life, and he’s been daydreaming of taking his own for the past five minutes, so that question should be easy enough to answer. And yet it isn’t. 

He hums something in her direction, and she keeps walking in silence. Bellamy knows she isn’t satisfied with his response, but oh well. The fact that this conversation is over is more than enough for him. 

As the wind howls between the trees, a slight cold breeze pulls his hair back, and he lets his mind wander into the depths of his dark thoughts. It feels oddly comforting.

He believes in healing, and he believes time is the best remedy to all wounds. He’s a patient man after all. But he’s not too sure if he wants to sit down and wait for this one. 

Bellamy keeps walking behind Clarke, hand resting on the gun he keeps inside his waistband. Her blonde hair is waving through the night breeze, her step firm as she marches confidently through the haunted woods. 

His grip on the cold metal tightens at the sight of her, and suddenly he’s not there anymore. His soul leaves the woods for a second, but it feels like centuries.

Alone. He’s oddly aware that there are other people around him, and yet he feels alone. When he stops seeing black, his sight unblurring, he looks down. He blinks. He’s dressed in white, and he struggles to recognise the body he’s suddenly trapped in, but he knows it’s his. 

This isn’t a memory, not quite, but it’s not a dream either. He’s awake, he knows that. But he’s not in this dimension, on this planet. 

Suddenly, a blinding green light catches his eye. Standing in front of it, Clarke. Tears are running down her cheeks as she struggles to make up her mind, but deep down he fears he already knows the outcome. 

He breathes in, then breathes out. He wants it to happen. He needs it to happen, to be released, to finally end it all. 

If this is the way he’s meant to go, he embraces it. If Clarke is meant to make this decision for him, then it’s a good decision. He trusts her with his life, and if that’s what she wants to take, he’ll give it to her. 

Clarke pulls the trigger, and with it comes rest. 

A loud bang, and... nothing. Then, everything.

His soul is at peace. He knows she’s crying, he knows she’s ashamed; he doesn’t see her, yet he somehow knows. He knows it all now, all the reasons, all the regrets.   


  
Her feelings for him cave into his heart, and stay there. They fill up his chest with a kind of warmth he’s never felt before, and he’s relieved to confirm that, after all these years, they were meant to happen. 

Bellamy lets out a defeated sigh as Clarke’s essence invades his spirit. They weren’t lucky enough, no matter how many chances they had and didn’t take. Not in this lifetime. He promises to himself he won’t be a coward in the next one.

He forgives her — no, he  _ thanks _ her for this gift. For the gift of life. He knows now. What he’s been living all these years was nothing but a burning hell disguised as the infinite universe. 

_ This _ is life. And when her time comes to join him, he’ll welcome her with open arms, just like he’s always done. Because, this time, she made the right choice, and he needs to let her know. 

The choice to finally set his soul free. 

“Bellamy?”

Her voice brings him back to Earth, and now he’s unsure if he’s ever left at all. He blinks once, twice. Clarke is looking right at him. 

“Mm…”

“We’re here,” she says, a small smile on her lips, before turning around. 

He looks straight to the horizon, where the dark wooden wall of their camp stands imposing in the middle of the woods. A sudden gust of fresh air hits his face, reminding him that he’s alive. And, in that moment, he understands. 

He’s not meant to go yet. Soon, perhaps, but not now. He still doesn’t know what he’s seen and felt, if it was a dream or a prediction. If it was simply nothing. All he knows is that he’ll fall asleep tonight to that distant memory, trying to emulate the peace he felt the moment after that bang. A peace he’s never felt before in this body, and doubts he ever will. 

But now, people,  _ his _ people, depend on him, and he will protect each one of them even if it’s the last thing he does. This is what he’s here for. This is his purpose. He’s a protector, a caring man. Maybe when there’s no more hope, no more love to give that could save them all, it’ll be his time to go. 

But for now, he will protect Octavia. He will protect Clarke — no matter what happens, she needs to survive. 

He has to keep her alive, so she can take his life someday and set him free.

  
  



End file.
